Friday, April 4, 2008

Getting into Heaven

Getting into Heaven

Mykola Dementiuk

If I could get into Heaven (into Uschi Digart) and stick my head between her tits I would be in heaven right away because Heaven was more than a masturbatory fantasy, she was my ideal of what women should be, dumb as a big-titted, short tight-skirted bimbo…and in the 1960s and into the ‘70s that’s exactly how I saw women in the porno soft-core films I pretty much viewed daily and nightly….And Uschi Digart fit the bimbo model to a tee. Getting into Heaven, her 1970 classic, showed her off as she was: dumb but ready and eager to serve guys on her knees, on her back, open mouthed and open legged, anywhere, any time, with a guy on top of her getting what he wanted while she was a good little girl who listened and obeyed and studied her acting lessons…where else? On the producer’s couch….

What man wouldn’t want a woman like that? Well in the ‘60s, before woman’s liberation took hold, all women were like that. Nurtured by the male sex-dominated world they lived in and eager to serve their masters. Hell, I was dominated too. I played my role as a man and was constantly demeaned and insulted by newly liberated women. What the hell? I knew no better...neither did they….

But I recall an Uschi Digart-wannabe/could-be type or so I thought, where I worked at the time, a bookshop on 5th Avenue that catered to rich male shoppers. Well Uschi -- such as I secretly thought of her -- always had to go and help the men looking for books, bending over or climbing ladders to reach a selection they wanted. One day Uschi came down to the basement, where I toiled in the mail room, all flustered and irate.

“Gimme a cigarette,” she stormed, jumping up and taking a seat on the wooden table where I had my packages to mail off; I could see from her shaking legs in a short skirt and her weaving bosom that she was angry and I sure was glad my face didn’t reveal what I was thinking from gaping at her boobs. (Uschi Digart, the porn movie starlet, was a 44-26-35, I knew her size by heart, but our bookshop Uschi was at mere a 40, I imagine; big in any regard, so you see what I mean?)

“Jerk just told me to wear nylons and a garter belt the next time he comes in,” she fumed, taking quick puffs of her cigarette. “Like hell I will! Said he wants a better and nicer view when I’m up on top of the ladder,” her cigarette was sucked in rather deeply. “Only then would he buy anything, the bastard!” She stubbed her cigarette out and reached for another in my pack.

I dreamily wanted to grin, thinking of her on a ladder and her nylons and garters, if she would wear them, peeking out as she reached for a book.

Damn, I cursed to myself, but I had seen Uschi Digart doing just that in one of her films! And the guy and I must have seen the same exact film in Times Square, where else? And in the same theater….Damn!

“He’s an asshole!” I shrugged, and she looked at me as she bounced off the table, jiggle jiggle…her cigarette remained stuck in her mouth.

“Tomorrow,” she said, stubbing it out, “I’m not going to wear a bra anymore. Fuck that shit! I’m a liberated woman!” And she went off fuming back upstairs to the bookshop which awaited her. I dreamily stared after her short skirted buttocks jiggling under her skirt….Wonder will she get rid of her panties too, I thought, I guess she will, wickedly smirking and went on wrapping packages and parcels.

That evening I was at my favorite porno movie house gazing at Uschi Digart in Getting into Heaven but strangely I kept looking at guys as they passed me by thinking that they might be the guy from the bookstore….Was that him?... No, maybe that guy…Or this one?...Looking and staring…I wanted to tell him something about Uschi, our buxom clerk, but strangely a few of the guys leered back and took a seat nearby….I kept on looking at the Uschi movie, rubbing myself and dreaming, as they inched closer…..

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