Spine Intact, Some Creases

Spine Intact, Some Creases

by Victor J. Banis

reviewed by Mykola (Mick) Dementiuk

“Holding hands in the darkness at the movies could be an intensely erotic experience.”

I was maybe 15 or 16 years old and sneaking into various Times Square movie houses. Did it in through the back doors on 41^st or 40^th Streets, with someone leaving and me sneaking in; occasionally, I’d meet the brute of a man who simply refused to let me in and slammed the door after he left. But such a prim and proper disciplinarian was rare and I’d get in for free, most of times, with some hurrying-away movie viewer fading out of sight. I’d go in and watch a western or a war-entrenched movie and feel good afterwards. This was years before rampant sex tore through the area…And as I’d sit there, watching some battle with Japanese or Germans or some cowboys fleeing from the sheriff, I’d grow alert when someone sat down in a vacant seat next to mine. Mostly an older man, yet occasionally someone just a little older than I was; who was hoping and looking for some company…or so I thought.

These trysts never did go any further than mere holding hands and looking dreamily at each other, but after an hour or so I’d say, “Be right back…” and hurry off, pretending I was going to the bathroom or concession stand when really I was disappearing into the 42^nd Street crowds. I think maybe it was four or five times that happened and I’d leave, still erect, and wander my way home where I masturbated for weeks on end with that cowardly memory…Why did I run? Why was I so horny and hot after?

I often thought of those anonymous faces over the years, those tricked, led-on, abandoned and forgotten so despicably and shamefully, when a single line in Victor Banis’ book brought it all back, “holding hands in the darkness at the movies could be an intensely erotic experience…”

How many times did I pass by the theaters in my later years and remember holding hands, feeling myself protected and cared for when all of a sudden that old fear came back to and I so stupidly faded off in to the crowds? Too many, too many…way too many…

Victor J. Banis, whose bibliography at the end of the book is amazing, --and boy, the wealth of material he has produced under various names and guises is truly remarkable--has produced such a book, a book of memories and lost times gone forever with just a flicker of remembrance. And gratefully Victor Banis has done it all and tells us just how he came to do these things while playing a truly rich and rewarding life experience.

Banis explores the “loneliest of all minorities,” --being gay in the straight world-- in the 1950s and 1960s when such tumultuous change loomed on the horizon. Back in the 1920s and 30s he notes, one didn’t give much mind about one’s sex yet in the 40s one paid attention since everyone was horny and hungry for it. But by the 50s it was frowned upon and put down, with yellow journalist Walter Winchell calling “a vote for Adlai Stevenson is a vote for Christine Jorgenson” until it exploded in the 60s coming out all decorated in vibrant drag, so to speak, --in 1968 it erupted in a tirade of protest-full celebration that was to become Stonewall, never to be the same again.

Banis begins his biography by becoming a writer of gay stories that were published in Switzerland and then under various names in America. His fame, or ill-fame, grew until it exploded in a suit brought against him and his publisher by the US Post Office for obscene material, and this at a time when the government was after Henry Miller and Barney Rosset and others. The suit against Banis was gratefully dismissed, after they dragged it as long as they could and Banis, in need of a break from the stupidity that has always been a part of American history, got that break by traveling across Europe, and seeing and experiencing Sweden, Switzerland, Italy and Franco’s Spain.

Once back home, he did a book tour that took him across the country, meeting with Hugh Hefner and other stars in Beverly Hills, --Nina Foch, Elizabeth Montgomery, Natalie Wood, Linda Ronstadt amongst others. His neighbor at the time was Sal Mineo, who eventually was slain in a botched homosexual robbery.

But most of all was Banis’ writing; as he did it each and every day for 365 days a year then just started all over the next year and did it all over again…as he’s still doing it. Among the many books he has written (under his name) The Why Not, Longhorns, Angel Land, Lola Dances among others, and under various nom de plumes a wealth of titles, for male and female readers alike.

As a writer he is truly amazing! Plus for other writers who are still undergoing the process of slow learning he recommends “On Becoming a Novelist” and “Art of Fiction” by John Gardner as required reading (I would add William Zinsser’s “On Writing Well” also, it helped me.)

But most of all, Banis advises, write to suit yourself, in this way you’ll be able to write what you want and sleep well at night…and the hell with what they have to say against you…

A well-worthy book, instructive and filled with memories of people, from Hollywood stars and starlets, to those who wrote for them like Victor Banis, writer extraordinaire…

Read it, ponder it, learn and write…write…write…

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Hardup Janet

Hardup Janet

Janet was a pretty girl who had the ungainly name that could get her in trouble in those years:

Have you got a hardon? Not yet.

Are you gonna get one? You bet!

Who you gonna stick in? Janet.

How’s it gonna come out? All wet.

Sung by the whore house…Quartet…

We would laugh at her as Janet would fume and curse and spit out, “Idiot! Idiot!”

I was in the 8^th grade and lusting after every girl in school and out of it. Janet was in another school but this was NYC and even in a building where they lived kids went to school in

opposite directions. Sometimes I saw her come out of her building and head up 2^nd Avenue -- I always lusted after her, and I had the notion that she was doing the same.

One morning after jerking off, I walked past her building a little earlier, thinking I’d get her because she was ripe for sticking it in, or so the song did say…I kind of was sure she was the one who had inspired the song…

I entered the lobby -- the building was still sleeping, stretching out as if getting ready to go to work. What to do now? I thought. She has to come down the stairs and there I’d be, looking up her dress with my dick out ready for her mouth to gulp it down. God! Was I hard just thinking about that moment…I pulled my dick out.

Then I heard footsteps, high heeled ones I was sure, maybe with just a toe hold on each little shoe. Oh God, I slowly pulled my dick out and held it before me ready for her to descend the stairs….

A guy appeared at the top of the stairs and I heard him say, “What the fuck?!”

I was out of that building, running down the street as I was zippering up and trying to hold my school bag with the other hand. In no time was I on another street and spent the rest of the school day real pissed at my rotten luck….

I saw Janet a few days after that…I mouthed the song and laughed as she glared at me and disappeared down the street…

I still feel like an idiot…even now…

###

Ukrainian Christmas

Ukrainian Christmas

Ukrainian Christmas fell on January 7^th unlike the American December 25^th. It was the old tradition our parents respected and adhered to, but more and more we began to follow the American routine.

Oleksandr had a thing for Sosya. He had gotten her a present, but what? We didn’t know, still we were sure that on Ukrainian Christmas he’d be standing with his gift before him. Needless to say, that Christmas Eve, on the last of a school day, she thought he was jerk and tossed his gift the trash from which Oleksandr retrieved it and skulked away.

It happened like this: January 7^th fell on a Friday that year and though we had off from school we still had to show up for Holy Mass that day. It was nice having the rest of the day for gift-giving and family visiting. But smirkingly, we all had our eyes peeled for Oleksandr and Sosya.

Sosya was already there, sitting patiently in the girl’s section, when Oleksandr walked in and trod to the boy’s section in church. Their pews were filled with students and mass begun, was celebrated, and came to an end. Everybody was getting up and leaving the church when Oleksandr’s voice rang out, “Xryctoc razdayetsha!” Christ is born!

People stopped in their place and looked at each other, then smiled, greeted each other and went on with what they were doing. But Oleksandr did not wait for Sosya, he disappeared in the crowd of people leaving the church.

Weird, but Oleksandr left Sosya alone after that, not buying her gifts anymore.

Do people change that suddenly? Overnight?

Guess they do…

###

Fat Sonia

Fat Sonia

Sonia was a fat girl whom everyone made fun off, how she dressed, how she walked, how she ran….

I don’t know how she got me hard but the possibility she could be the one made me gentler in my approach to her. I stopped laughing at her and actually began to be somewhat defensive when the guys started taunting her, which of course turned the laughter onto me.

“Hey Kolya”, they’d taunt, “Your girl friend is looking for you!” as their smirking and hooting began to make me feel embarrassed and mad at them.

“Fuck you!” I’d spit out defensively to get away from their insults, which I’m certain Sonia was seeing too.

One day, after the usual name calling I was getting from my so-called friends, I turned the corner on Avenue A and there was Sonia standing in a doorway of a building and looking at me; I knew it wasn’t her home -- she lived a few more blocks by the river -- and I turned red from seeing her.

“What’s your game, mister?” she said, frowning at me. “Why are you so nice?”

I suppose after all these weeks I answered, “I don’t know, I guess I like you.” And again I blushed and felt very uncomfortable.

Her glaring face lightened and she faintly smiled at me. And for a moment we liked each other and I smiled back…when I saw her eyes look over my head and again she frowned.

“Idiot jerk!” she spat out. “Get away from me! Stop following me!”

I heard laughter and spun around to see a few of my old friends laughing.

“Hey, Kolya, you like fatsos, don’t you?” they’d laugh. “Let’s see if she can lay down next to you? Hell, she can’t even stand up!”

But by then Sonia had stormed off as the laughter echoed after her but I wonder if for a moment before they appeared Sonia wouldn’t take a chance and get friendly with me…aw, hell I’ll never know….

###

Nighborhood Fag

Neighborhood Fag

Vinnie lived in the neighborhood and it was clear what he was, a fag, that the kids taunted and made fun of him as he skipped by on the streets. But the taunting was good natured and it was interesting how red and embarrassed I’d turn as we all called after him “Faggot!” then run away down the street, laughing and teasing each other to go back to him.

Vinnie was a hairdresser who ran his business from his apartment, just one flight up the stairs. Many older women paid him a call and his place was always packed with women gossiping and waiting their turns to get preened over.

I had heard he’d pay an easy five bucks for just sitting there as he’d blow you but I never knew a guy who did that; at least no one admitted that they did it. I sure was glad that no one saw how hard I had gotten, as they’d laugh and smirk over how much money Vinnie would give them.

Hell, but five dollars? I said to myself, intrigued over the easy money I could get. I wasn’t getting that nowhere else, that’s for sure.

I knew Vinnie took off on Saturday afternoons -- learned this from the guys -- so at 3pm I was standing in the outside doorway next to his, watching a woman leave his house; I knew that this was a customer, her hair was expertly made up that it looked like she was going out for the night, dancing and drinking…or something, but defiantly screwing..

I smoked two more cigarettes -- that should have given him enough time -- and entered his building.

The smell of perfume and hairspray was prevalent with each step I took up and neared his door. But the smell of women who had been there made my approach more enticing and alluring. My dick was hard and eager and if I just concentrated on that, how women smell, I’m sure I would let him suck and kiss me all night long, as long as my eyes would be kept closed. If I can’t see what he’s doing than it ain’t happening, right?

I listened; faint music hummed through the door which only added to the sexual tension I was feeling. I gently knocked on the door, waited an instant then knocked again, louder and firmer. I heard gentle footsteps shuffling to the door -- I thought of things feminine. The door opened…

Vinnie stood in a robe; his face creamed and adorned with makeup, something I had never seen a man in before and for a moment was surprised.

“Oh, my,” he said, all flustered. “But I can’t do you now, sweetie,” looking me up and down, but he gushed, “I’m waiting for my beau.” And he winked at me. “Come back another time, sweetie, like tomorrow, late afternoon.”

There was nothing to do but shrug and turn around and head back down…

But I still recall the scent of perfumes that were prevalent through the hall as I passed through the door and went back outside…

A pity I never dared to go back…

###

Staten Island Fairy

Staten Island Fairy

I had wandered into the Ferry Terminal in my usual walks through the city. I was supposed to meet Olena in the Village but again she didn’t show up. I was pissed and found myself walking downtown. I had no idea where I was going but the walk was very pleasant and interesting. The buildings, the stores, the people were all new to me and I just walked on, heedless of where I was going.

I knew NY was surrounded by water and many times as I walked glimpsed docks and ports on my way until I came to the tip of Manhattan. But the place was peopled by crowds rushing inside of a terminal. The signs read Staten Island Ferry, so I shrugged, threw in a dime into the turnstile and found myself on the deck of a huge ferry boat.

Damn, where was I going? I wondered.

I took a seat with the rest of the crowd, as they read newspapers, but it got quickly boring so I stood up and walked around the deck. Wandered from end to end all around the boat and found myself going into the bathroom to pee. One guy stood at the urinals but he didn’t look at me so I unzipped and pulled my penis out. Ah, it felt good, peering on water as the ferry churned along…

I heard movement and out of the corner of my eye saw the guy moving away from the urinals he had been standing at. I shook my dick a few times and turned around. The guy was standing, leaning back against the sink, his dick out of his pants and hard as hell. I watched him pull the skin back…And strangely I blushed, but didn’t know why, and I felt my own dick begin to harden in my jeans. Again I saw the guy’s penis bounce up and down as he stood there and licked his lips. I stared at the dick as if fascinated then shook my head, turned and walked out of the bathroom. Outside I found a seat but far away from the bathroom…

I didn’t see the man when the boat docked on Staten Island but I turned about and took the next boat back…I quickly found the bathroom and held my stiff penis before the urinal. I heard someone enter…my face was very red…

###

Handjob Time

Handjob Time

Sitting in the back of the Sheridan it was too crowded so we sat up front, with our heads aimed still higher to see the picture that was playing -- a dumb Jerry Lewis comedy crap -- but we weren’t interested in that, we came here with one purpose in mind…

Olena to my left as we started making-out and feeling each other, and what I like about these movie theater kissing and hugging was feeling her up her skirt and getting a glimpse and touch of nylons and silk and frail little stuff...And the way my hand was probing up her skirt, inching higher up her hose and feeling the garter straps having shifted about her spread legs, I wanted to push even further but her panties were in my way.

And Olena used to act like she was a little girl victim, her lips pouting, her sighs deeper, her legs spreading, until she spasmed and pushed me off, like she hadn’t known someone might be watching, her face red and nervously looking about to catch an eye of an surprised observer. I think she’d be looking to show off more…

And of course I’d be left with a frustrating hard-on that had no sense of going down…until one day after she had orgasmed or cummed or whatever you call female spasming, and then sat looking around and lit a cigarette, blowing out her smoke but saw my dick was still hard and eager so she reached for it and started jerking me off as she sat there puffing on her cigarette and boringly looking at Jerry Lewis again made a fool of himself.

It didn’t take long, the thrill, the emotion, the lust, the heat, the openness of sex all combined together and made me spurt out my jism in an explosion of madness and peace. I felt as I was in heaven at that moment, like I had been blessed with being a son of God that had just ascended into his throne into Heaven…and all just from sexually cuming.

“Jesus!” I heard her flare-up. “Right in my hand!”

I had spurted out and the jism rose up her fingers and to her hand reaching up to her elbow…like beautiful pastilles draping her tender skin…and she was mad as all hell!

“Disgusting!” she said again. “That’s gross!” then she stormed off, I guess to the ladies room to wash her sticky hand off, but I didn’t care. Anyway, she didn’t come back; I waited, thought about her, then just shrugged and lit another cigarette. Hey, it wasn’t bad, I thought, about time she did it to me anyway.

Jerry Lewis appeared again and was funnier as I looked up, laughing at the movie…Ha Ha! What a laugh!...But Olena stayed away….

###

Wet Skirt (A Napkin)

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Just Like a Woman

Just Like a Woman

by Mykola Dementiuk

I kept trailing her up Broadway and hoping she would turn down a side street, away from the crowds, so I could approach and smile and start a conversation, but she continued walking uptown, seemingly oblivious of the bemused staring pedestrians, some gaping in disbelief, others smirking and whistling, and still others taunting and threatening to turn her into a real woman.

It was Friday night and the streets were crowded with revelers and thrill-seekers and the bars and clubs interspersed amid the movie theaters along the avenue were all brightly lit, enticing and tempting with loud music pulsing from jukeboxes or live bands playing inside. At most of the establishments tough-looking men stood beckoning to the milling curious passersby chanting, No Cover! No Cover! and gesturing to the photo-plastered doorways around them with provocative pictures of half-naked models pouting out from behind shiny protective glass and offering unimaginable thrills from their seductive and tempting well-studied poses.

I had first spotted her as I had just exited one such No Cover club and stood grimacing at the photos in the doorway; there was nothing like that inside, I wanted to complain to the No Cover man, --just a skinny sag-titted girl who had clumsily crawled up on the bar, danced past a few drinkers hungrily gaping up at her G-string, and as much as she tried to coordinate the long tassels covering her nipples to sway rhythmically with the music, only succeeded in awkwardly flapping her saggy breasts against each other and tangling the long tassels of one nipple in the studded rhinestone pastie of the other.

No, nothing like the pictures at all, I grimaced, and heard some whistles and laughter and turned and saw “her” coming up the avenue.

She was tall and her body was large and solid and she wore a strange furry and feathery vest which only accentuated her broad shoulders yet covered and concealed whatever bosom she had molded underneath. Her tight red pants, slightly sagging and loose around the hips, did not have the natural fleshy show-off roundness and buoyancy one expected of a woman parading Times Square, but she made up for it by the over-exaggerated swagger of her flat limp ass and her loud clicking high-heels as she moved confidently through the noisy Friday night crowd.

Her ashy blonde-streaked hair was puffed up in on out-of-style beehive roost, and her long jingling show-girl earrings, more common in a chorus line or in the come-on doorway photos, dangled from her ears and struck the sides of her face as she confidently pushed into the crowd, certain a gauntlet would open and a path would be cleared no matter how dense that crowd might be.

At times her long gait briefly faltered as she lost rhythm with her ungainly swaying, one foot falling too quickly onto the concrete, her ankle sagging and twisting in the overstrained high-heeled shoe, but she always recovered and pulled her vest tighter around her bosom and sped up the street, her heels scratching and scraping the hard asphalt beneath them.

She neared the girlie-covered doorway and I gaped at her heavily made-up face: thick rouge, lipstick, and eyeliner, and all applied with detailed care and precision, --yet I noticed at the side of her throat the line of makeup, perhaps through oversight or a smudged mirror, ended abruptly and did not blend naturally into the neck, clearly revealing the red pock-marks and bright seared blotches of recently shaved stubble.

Getta loada this! I heard the No Cover man laugh. But I had already noticed; for she swayed up the avenue seeming to disregard the gawking and staring and hooting that circled about her, her cock and balls had somehow stealthily eased themselves free of whatever panty or girdle she wore to keep them in place between her legs and fell down the side of her inner thigh, suspended and outlined in her bright red pants in a large and puffy unmistakable numeral 9. I saw this, and waited for her to pass, then stepped out of the doorway and began my pursuit of her.

No Cover! I heard the man call after me, gesturing to the milling crowd. No Cover, gents! Real live beautiful girls’ right up the stairs. No Cover! No Cover!

She moved quickly through the crowd and up the avenue and crossed streets and for a moment I thought I had lost her somewhere uptown but I brightened and sped up as he spotted the top of her bee-hive bob across the street and continue up Broadway.

The crowds had thinned somewhat --most of the excitement being closer to 42^nd street-- but her swish and sway remained as exaggerated as before and heads continued to turn and smirk and call out for a real good time. A few times she had flushed angrily from some malicious taunt and would turn to confront her tormentor but his face always gelled in the safety with other conspiratorially smirking faces, and she’d end up simply fluttering her long black lashes, pouting her bright red lips, and wiggling her flat red ass up the street, followed by even louder and raucous hooting and taunting.

It was Friday night and for decades this area of peepshows and dirty movies, loud bars and dangerous side streets, was synonymous with sex and cheap thrills. It was the place to come to get laid or blown or jerked-off, or even watch a skin-flick and jerk yourself off. The purpose and logic, thrill and enticement of the area was sex: cheap and dirty and quick. On any night, the street scene was often the same: a red-faced geezer hurrying towards some dark side-street hallway with a young boy trailing behind him; nervous men in business suits skulking into dirty-movie houses or speeding out of porno bookshops with magazine-crammed paper bags tucked under their arms; ragged old whores roosting atop garbage cans and displaying flabby tits and busted-toothed grins to cars and passersby and sometimes actually negotiating a price with them. On the street, a young boy could lose his virginity to a manipulative wasted cunt as easily as to a scheming diseased dick up his ass. You took your chances when you got to Times Square, and you got what paid for; and more often then not, it was exactly what you were after anyway.

I followed the woman across a street and saw her pausing in the middle of the clock to gaze at a mirrored doorway covered with photos of half-naked girls, just as the one he had stepped out of in pursuit of her. This far from 42^nd street there wasn’t even a No Cover man outside, just a bold pink-lettered poster hanging above the photos: Girls-Girls-Girls-No Cover!

I came closer and saw her preening in a slither of mirrored glass around the girlie photos. She puffed up the sides of her hair and flicked her tongue around her bright red lips and I paused behind her as she opened her vest, sucked in her pot belly, and thrust out her unbalanced and knobby bulging blue knit-bloused bosom. She saw my smiling image in the mirror and darted her eyes down my reflection and suddenly gaped and stared at her own bulging crotch; a deep red flush raced up her neck to her jaw and cheeks and nose and she wrapped the furry vest across her chest and quickly turned and raced up the avenue, her gait no longer an exaggerated show-off swagger, but a rapid and purposeful flight.

I frowned and looked after her, my own hard penis tightening and pulsing at the side of my own inner thigh. Certainly she didn’t think she had tricked anyone with her makeup and hairdo; certainly she didn’t imagine that earrings and high-heels were all that it took to pass as a woman; --yet the image of appearing as a woman was indeed what had mattered, what she had strived for, what she had probably spent hours preening and dolling herself for, what she had dared to risk insult and ridicule, and possibly injury for, only to see that imagined female image shattered by an intrusive pair of male genitalia, her own cock and balls.

Still, hadn’t she felt them creeping out of her panties and down her leg? Or had the masquerade been so successful, as least in her mind, and the image so complete that the pleasant oozing of bulbous flesh at the bottom of her groin experienced as a sort of divine female orgasm?

I watched the blur of her red ass and legs turn off the avenue and I raced to the corner and saw her entering a side-street building and I again briskly raced and reached the doorway just as the door slammed shut behind her. I paused and peered through the portioned glass door and saw her stooped over and tugging the inside of her pant leg.

I pushed the door open and entered the hall. She jerked around and pulled her hand out of her pants and stared at him, her mouth open, her eyes wide. I smiled and walked towards her and she braced her back to a wall and eyed me warily.

For a moment, we looked at each other, then I suddenly reached out and grabbed her between the legs and squeezed her cock. She jerked aside and pushed off my hand but I quickly maneuvered behind her and dipped my hand under her ass and strained to reach the puffy cock and balls from beneath. She slightly sagged and lowered her torso, then spun around and leaned back against the wall.

-Where did you come from? she blinked, and raised her hands to his chest. I bobbed my head and kissed her mouth, our tongues darting against each other, our teeth clicking. She circled her hands under my arms and clutched my shoulders and raised her leg up my calf and clasped me tightly to her. She pounded her groin against my thigh and I groped her and squeezed her cock and felt her torso grind faster and faster until she desperately buckled and shivered, as I held on, my tongue deep in her mouth, her semen oozing out of her dick and spreading through her pants and into my palm. She buckled as few more times, then sagged down my chest and pulled her mouth off mine, gasping and smearing lipstick from my lips to my cheeks to my throat, nibbling and kissing and sucking my neck. Slowly, she relaxed and regained her breathing and dropped her leg off my calf and straightened up and pushed me away.

-Boy, was I hot! she blushed, and glanced down her pants and grimaced. The large wet semen stain had quickly spread at the thigh of her red pants and she cursed and said, What’ll I do now? and brushed at the edges of the dark wet stain. A fat thick globule of pasty scum shimmered in the center of the expanding stain. I reached out and cupped her moist cock and balls and she stiffened and sucked in air, then pushed my hand away and giggled as I raised it to my face and rubbed the damp palm against my mouth and jaw.

-Oh, stop it, she said, and slapped my wrist. I grabbed her hand and our fingers entwined and they looked at each other and I tried to pull her hand towards my own hard crotch but she wriggled her fingers free and glanced down at her thigh and grimaced.

-I have to do something, she said, I can’t go back out like this.

I nodded, and looked at the glass covering doorway then moved around her, blocking her from view of the outside, and reached for her waist. She pulled away but I persisted and stooped down and said, I’ll fix it, and fumbled for her side pants button. She peered over my shoulders at the door, then let me unsnap the button and slide down the zipper and open the pants at the side of her hip. I reached down her belly and into her pants and she gasped as my fingers caressed her warm damp flesh and soft panty girdle. I wriggled my fingers in between her stomach and girdle and maneuvered them down to the crinkly pubic hairs at her groin. Her fleshy stomach quivered and she held my shoulders as my fingers inched deeper and deeper and groped out of the girdle and leg-hole and slid down her thigh and strained for and grasped her wet cock and balls. I heard her suck in air and gasp as I tenderly pulled up and retrieved them back into the panty girdle.

She shifted her weight and leaned on the wall and opened her legs and I gently positioned the sticky wet dick beneath the loose scrotum and pushed it in between her thighs, the head of the penis cuddled by her clammy and hairy flat ass cheeks. I tweaked each tight little ball on the side of the limp prick, then slowly and carefully moved my hand up from between her legs and up her belly, as the restraining panty girdle closed firmly behind him.

For a moment I hesitated, my thumb circling and probing her belly button, and looked at her wide eyes, then reluctantly moved my hand out of her pants. She faintly smiled and kissed my cheek, and let go of my shoulders and tucked her blouse in her pants and tugged up the pants zipper and looped the button shut at the side of her waist. She puffed up the bottoms of her phony breasts with the back of her hands and leered and blinked at him.

-Thanks, she mumbled, and I blushed, and she reached up to my face and smudged the lipstick smear on my cheek and neck. I glanced at her red-daubed finger-tips and tried to catch them with my mouth but she also giggled and jerked her hand away, and I pulled out a handkerchief and she took it from me and wiped my face and throat.

-Oh, look what I did, she girlishly pouted. A hickey! And I reached up and hesitantly touched my lipstick smeared throat and looked at my fingers. Will you give me one too? she leered, and fluttered her eyelashes, and I opened my mouth and licked her lipstick off my fingers, then bobbed my head to her neck, but she giggled and braced her hands atop my chest and pushed me away.

-Later, she said, and held out his handkerchief. First buy me a drink, ok?

I nodded and looked to the door, then wiped my neck with the stained handkerchief and crammed it back in his pocket and said, Sure, let’s go.

She looked at the door and frowned, then forced a smile and asked, How do I look? and I answered, Beautiful, and moved for a kiss, but she giggled and sidestepped around me and darted her tongue along her mouth.

-Lipstick ok? she asked. I nodded, and she smirked and we walked to the door and I pulled it open and saw her glancing down her groin; the stain was dark but seemed to be blending into a natural shadowed highlight on the bright red pants.

-There’s a bar down the block, I said, but she grunted, and placed her arm in the crook of my elbow and pulled me out of the building hallway.

-This way, she said, and led me back up Broadway. Her sway and swagger quickly returned, her hips spinning from side to side, and I fell in rhythmic step with her as she parted her furry vest and tightened her belly and thrust out her lopsided bosom. We rounded the corner and she pulled my arm closer and we moved towards the crowds and walked to 42^nd street.

I saw someone smirk and poke at the person beside them but I stared straight ahead at the Broadway lights.

-No Cover! I heard a man yell, and pulled her hand tighter to my chest and concentrated on her clicking and scraping heels fall in step with my own. I knew my stiff dick was pushing out at the front of my pants; I wondered if hers had stayed put. I heard someone laugh….

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Trans Pix

Trans Pix

Mykola Dementiuk

I liked the Bryant Theater with its soft core pictures that had the moviegoers masturbating in the rows while their raincoats covered their laps but across the street, which I often went to also, the Pix movie house had more room and space and a balcony upstairs where you could disappear into your own self-satisfaction then start all over again until you got it right or had to use the bathroom. Which was just as spacious but the bathrooms were located on a lower level, women’s the right, men’s on the left, of course it didn’t seem as if they were used by the distinguishable sexes anymore because you never knew what you were going to find there.

I hurried down the stairs into the large waiting room with large elegant chairs against the wall but even at a distance you could already see the chairs were scrappy-looking, the paint was peeling and flaking from the walls while the corners hadn’t been swept in a while leaving hairballs of dust to trail after a walker as he passed -- it seemed like Times Square was on the slow decline and no one gave a hoot about it…

I shook my head and was about to enter the men’s room when a movement caught my attention from the ladies' room: a man was standing half-in/half-out of the ladies room doorway and rubbing the front of his pants. He was an elderly father-type, in his 50s or 60s, and his face was red, his mouth hanging open, pressing and squeezing himself in his crotch. I coughed and he angrily looked at me like I was disrupting his attention to something I didn’t see. He mumbled something to himself and stalked across the large room to a telephone booth against the wall in a side center -- he fell into a seat and shut the door behind him. I could see he still was doing something to himself through the glass-portioned door…jerking-off, I suppose.

I shrugged and was about to enter the men’s room when loud heels pounded across the tiles…I love that sound, mysterious and foreboding, sounds like your female killer is making an approach and there’s nothing you can do about it. At their nearness, as usual, I froze, biting my lower lip as if from fright…Oh, what a deadly sound, I thought…sending tingles down my spine and into my lower back.

Click, click, click click…

I looked up at the approaching high heeled female; she wore white high heels with dark fishnet stockings and red hot pants that were held up by pink suspenders with a white sleeveless turtleneck. Her face was made out in Cover Girl cream and her eyes were lavished with eye shadow and mascara. She held out a long black wig in one arm as she clutched a purse in the other. Strangely she didn’t look in my direction but went to a corner table, set her purse down then gently and tenderly fluffed the wig out. I dropped into a seat against the wall, lighting a cigarette and staring at her.

She had a short hairdo, obviously a guy, but I didn’t care, this was 42^nd Street and when you come here you took your chances and you got what you expected, whether they be in rough cowboy boots or dainty feminine high heels. It mattered little to me and I openly squeezed my crotch and watched her…

She stood before a mirror on the wall and tried the wig on, the hair falling down to her shoulders, and twisted the wig on her side to set it centered on her face. She was remarkably feminine and the back of her red hot pants looked exquisite to where the fishnet stockings disappeared in the crook of her bouncy ass and legs. My mouth watered as she turned around before the mirror to look at her wig from the rear when I saw the puffy numerical 9 in her crotch held there by the stockings and hot pants. What a hardon! I thought, and dreamily smiled at her when she turned back to the mirror, combing the strands of hair which so lavishly decorated around her face.

I was about to say something in appreciation of her, when the telephone booth door folded open and the man stood up holding his dick out and furiously masturbating. We looked at each other, the three of us, then she snorted and shook her head.

“He gets to be like that every time he’s left alone,” she lisped to me. “I can’t take him anywhere any more.” She frowned at him and said to the man, “Now is that a nice thing to do? So bad, tsk, tsk.” She went across the lounge up to him and stood before him. “What am I going to do with you?”

The man in the phone booth suddenly bowed his head and let go of his dick. The girl clicked her heels and held out her hand.

“C’mon, let’s go,” she said, with a sense of frustration in her voice. The man zippered up then sheepishly took her arm and followed her up the stairs. The clicking of heels faded....

I looked up the stairs, scratching my jaw, then shrugged and went to the men’s room to take a leak…I wonder if I missed any good parts…in the movie…or in here….

Getting into Heaven

Getting into Heaven

Mykola Dementiuk

If I could get into Heaven (into Uschi Digart) and stick my head between her tits I would be in heaven right away because Heaven was more than a masturbatory fantasy, she was my ideal of what women should be, dumb as a big-titted, short tight-skirted bimbo…and in the 1960s and into the ‘70s that’s exactly how I saw women in the porno soft-core films I pretty much viewed daily and nightly….And Uschi Digart fit the bimbo model to a tee. Getting into Heaven, her 1970 classic, showed her off as she was: dumb but ready and eager to serve guys on her knees, on her back, open mouthed and open legged, anywhere, any time, with a guy on top of her getting what he wanted while she was a good little girl who listened and obeyed and studied her acting lessons…where else? On the producer’s couch….

What man wouldn’t want a woman like that? Well in the ‘60s, before woman’s liberation took hold, all women were like that. Nurtured by the male sex-dominated world they lived in and eager to serve their masters. Hell, I was dominated too. I played my role as a man and was constantly demeaned and insulted by newly liberated women. What the hell? I knew no better...neither did they….

But I recall an Uschi Digart-wannabe/could-be type or so I thought, where I worked at the time, a bookshop on 5^th Avenue that catered to rich male shoppers. Well Uschi -- such as I secretly thought of her -- always had to go and help the men looking for books, bending over or climbing ladders to reach a selection they wanted. One day Uschi came down to the basement, where I toiled in the mail room, all flustered and irate.

“Gimme a cigarette,” she stormed, jumping up and taking a seat on the wooden table where I had my packages to mail off; I could see from her shaking legs in a short skirt and her weaving bosom that she was angry and I sure was glad my face didn’t reveal what I was thinking from gaping at her boobs. (Uschi Digart, the porn movie starlet, was a 44-26-35, I knew her size by heart, but our bookshop Uschi was at mere a 40, I imagine; big in any regard, so you see what I mean?)

“Jerk just told me to wear nylons and a garter belt the next time he comes in,” she fumed, taking quick puffs of her cigarette. “Like hell I will! Said he wants a better and nicer view when I’m up on top of the ladder,” her cigarette was sucked in rather deeply. “Only then would he buy anything, the bastard!” She stubbed her cigarette out and reached for another in my pack.

I dreamily wanted to grin, thinking of her on a ladder and her nylons and garters, if she would wear them, peeking out as she reached for a book.

Damn, I cursed to myself, but I had seen Uschi Digart doing just that in one of her films! And the guy and I must have seen the same exact film in Times Square, where else? And in the same theater….Damn!

“He’s an asshole!” I shrugged, and she looked at me as she bounced off the table, jiggle jiggle…her cigarette remained stuck in her mouth.

“Tomorrow,” she said, stubbing it out, “I’m not going to wear a bra anymore. Fuck that shit! I’m a liberated woman!” And she went off fuming back upstairs to the bookshop which awaited her. I dreamily stared after her short skirted buttocks jiggling under her skirt….Wonder will she get rid of her panties too, I thought, I guess she will, wickedly smirking and went on wrapping packages and parcels.

That evening I was at my favorite porno movie house gazing at Uschi Digart in Getting into Heaven but strangely I kept looking at guys as they passed me by thinking that they might be the guy from the bookstore….Was that him?... No, maybe that guy…Or this one?...Looking and staring…I wanted to tell him something about Uschi, our buxom clerk, but strangely a few of the guys leered back and took a seat nearby….I kept on looking at the Uschi movie, rubbing myself and dreaming, as they inched closer…..

Goldfinger

Goldfinger

Mykola Dementiuk

I had been secretly seeing Olena because she was engaged to this guy and she or me didn’t want the information to leak out; the thing was he was in Vietnam, defending his country, and it wouldn’t do any good if someone found out she was a two-timer -- most of all with me….

Earlier, in the neighborhood I had seen him pouncing on guys he suspected were taking advantage and double-crossing him and I sure didn’t want to be the one with a black-eye from his fist.

But Olena was easy, too easy, very innocent and naïve, and a flirt. Tell her that she’s a nice girl and that you really like her and she would melt in your arms as easy as…well, like taking candy from a baby. Because it was her little girlishness that lured her into trouble around guys, that’s why Ray, her fiancé, kept her under lock and key, or at the least some kind of control once he wasn't around. He was very possessive and jealous but he hadn’t been at home for almost a year, fighting in the jungles of Vietnam, and I easily got close to her and kept it as quiet as she did too.

It was her idea we see Goldfinger; James Bond still wasn’t very well known but she had seen an earlier film of his, Dr. No, and was dying to see another one; but a midnight showing at the Paramount in Times Square? Well, I didn’t know about that….

“Oh, c’mon,” she pouted and her little girl’s voice said, “We can make doity in the balcony.” My cock rose as she said this, her eyes flirting, the breasts standing up, having increased in size and the little girl had become a rabid horny slut that I had every intention of filling up. She winked and said, “Anyway, there won’t be many people at that time of night, OK?”

I leered at her and said, “Yes, OK, I can’t wait,” pressing my hard dick against her.

That weekend, a Sunday night, we got up to Times Square around 11:30 pm. Right away we saw the mobs of people going in to see the ‘spy-lover’ and she was very disappointed, finally thinking that in a slow scene we could kiss and make-out but with the number of people going into the Paramount it was unlikely that anyone wouldn’t see what we were doing.

It was not until the movie began, with its haunting music, “Goldfinger, he’s the man, the man with the Midas touch…” that she relaxed and concentrated on her popcorn and forgot about me as she didn’t intend to do. But I didn’t care; I forgot about her too and got wrapped in the drama and tension as well. Laughing and shouting and gasping at the actors as they tried to stop the gold of Fort Knox from getting stolen by the Chinese hoodlums. There was Pussy Galore, Goldfinger's lovely secretary, and Odd Job, his evil Chinese derby-hated henchman, who everybody loved, and the evil Goldfinger himself who got killed as he fell out of an airplane in the end leaving James Bond with Pussy to cascade down to earth ….Man that was the best film I ever saw!

I rode Olena near her home, each one talking and jabbering but we finally separated on the subway platform near where she lived. Sadly the following week Ray was back from Vietnam and a few months after that him and Olena got married. She had 2 or 3 kids in rapid succession, one after the other….I avoided running into Ray in the neighborhood but wondered if he ever found out about Olena and me, but there was nothing to find out; James Bond got in the way…which I'm glad he did.

I still come by Times Square, once in awhile, but it’s so much a different place….The movies, the peepshows, the hookers all have been sanitized and cleaned up….Even the Paramount has been shut down a few times and reopened into its old boring splendor that can never take the place of the old house…Elvis Presley and Frank Sinatra sang in the old hall...Oh well…think I’ll go now….

“Goldfinger, he’s the man, the man with a Midas touch…Such a cold finger....” Shirley Bassey sung that, Elvis and Frank didn't.

Some memories and tunes never die….

She Came on the Bus

She Came on the Bus

Mykola Dementiuk

After a week of moronic working downtown -- though my wages were bi-weekly and I still hadn’t been paid -- it was always a thrill and delight to head up to 42^nd street where some of the frustration from the week could be worn off. Coming up from the subway I’d feel a tightening in my belly as the stiffness and hardness grew in my jeans because I never knew who would touch or kiss or suck me and then disappear into the night…

I loved rising up from the subway and seeing the feast of flickering lights that hung over each theater and the provocative names luring viewers into better times within…The Filthy Five, Promiscuous Sex, Sex With a Stranger and others. But week after week, when I got out of the subway, disappointment again surged across my face. From the Bryant Theater was suspended the now-repetitive week-after-week marquee She Came on the Bus, a black and white oldie that I used to love, but once again I was pissed…it was a repeat that by now was going nowhere at all….Those usual soft core films the Bryant showed seemed to add an allure that other movie houses didn’t seem to have. I liked the soft-core-ness of the Bryant; because intimate closeness of screwing, a cock pounding in and out of a vagina just didn’t do it for me. Give me some distance; show me her whole body, dressed in nylons and garters and slowly disrobing to arousal in ecstasy, in bliss, so I could jerk-off in peace or a hot frenzy…which I’ve done countless times at the Bryant….

But week after week the same repetitions were destroying my hunger for them. I had seen the film countless times, spending hours in that theater, and I felt reluctant of offering any more money into the greedy pockets of some cigar-smoking owner/gangster….

I sulked and walked up and down 42^nd street, past the Globe Theatre on Broadway, the Lyric, the Times Square and other houses then crossed the street and continued my walking on the other side, past New Amsterdam and Empire among others, gazing into girlie stores, peep shows and the eventual hamburger joints until I came back to the street where the Bryant stood. Angrily I thought I’d go back and start my procession all over again when out of the corner of my eye I saw something pink was swaying the Bryant.

My God, a girl! I thought, frozen in my tracks. And going to see a soft core flick!

I hurried up the street; impatiently waited for my penny change from the teller-- why do they do these things? I wondered, charge a buck 99 when 2 bucks would be easier to take? I had no idea -- but still gazing after the tight pants pink girl as she walked up the long mirrored walkway and disappeared into the theater.

Finally, the teller buzzed me in and I pounced into the theater. I love the hazy smoky darkness of movie houses because never mind what’s was going on the screen the activity was right here in the theatre aisles! But the pink girl had quickly faded into a seat somewhere….

I walked down the murky aisle, passing the back rows crowded with men, and in the middle rows her pinkness stood out from the darkness around her….But already a man was sitting next to her!

My God, that was fast!

I instantly took a seat in a row behind them and set my coat over my lap. On the screen, thrill seekers invade a house of a suburban housewife and inject her with drugs then rape her. They go off and steal a bus and pick up two good-looking women who are on their way into the city for clothes shopping. One woman is terrified while the other submits to the kidnapper while trying to get an upper hand over him. Not much skin but decent breast exposure which I liked in those days. I’ve sat through that film over 50 times and still think it's moronic garbage but one that always eventually gets me in as it did this time.

I’ve seen the film dozens of times, coming in the middle, coming near the end, which was the style in those days before they made everyone patient and orderly as they waited in some lobby to get into and see a movie. Well, not in those days, nosiree….

I moved my jacket over me and proceeded to rub myself. The soft-core action wasn’t arousing me it was the man next to the pink girl before me. Her topless shoulder was seemingly jerking up and down and it was clear what she was doing, giving the guy a hand-job, when he cringed and bent forwards and I heard a high-pitched groan and sigh as he collapsed in his seat.

What a great feeling to know I was beating my own cock as the pink dream was beating his. I spasmed at the same time as he did it too; our two yelps sounded very provocative that the girl even turned to look at me, Oh my God, she’s a man dressed as a girl! But what did I expect, I thought, grinning at her as she leered and turned her back on me. Her cumming fellow had suddenly gotten very embarrassed and stood up and disappeared back up the aisle.

I smirked; the boring film was about over, the characters promising that the wheels of sex would take them to their desire. And I almost yawned when another man walked right into the seat next to her. I giggled; this was even better than watching a dull sex movie, which it was, and it soon ended but began to roll again.

I could take another beating-off, I suspected, but I stood up and went to the men’s room. Pinky, the dream queen, will still be here when I got back, I knew; but if she wasn’t, well, I had no money to spend on her anyway, that’s why jerking-off had to suffice…next week I would….

The bus rolled into view on the screen. I laughed and headed to the bathroom. Strangely I was very happy and peaceful….